“All the firsts kill me”

I just took the kids shopping to pick out a birthday present for their dad. I had to swallow the lump in my throat when I saw the 'Happy birthday to my darling husband' cards. I used to go all out for his birthday and make it a really special day. This year they'll celebrate without me.

Sometimes the pain of heartbreak is so intense it takes my breath away. I just wish I could go full 'no contact' but I owe amicable coparenting to my kids.